Our beloved and bloodthirsty Aztecs hung around on campus during winter break; bitter, sad and looking to pick a fight. Some hillbillies rolled up like tumbleweeds on a highway and were all, We got next, and the Aztecs were like, it’s on, rednecks. We’re gonna roll you bitches. And roll those bitches they did.

Another way of looking at it is that Bakersfield tried to cockblock us while we were dialoguing a couple of honeys at the bar. But they didn’t know that we had just blown the deal with an off-the-charts hottie while on vacay in Honolulu and weren’t in the mood to deal with that bullshit. So we were all, nice ponytail motherfucker and p.s., do you like apples? And they were like yeah, so we were all, “Well I got her numbah. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES!”

That analogy doesn’t work. I thought of it because when I think of Bakersfield I think of the Grapevine and driving north, and how Cal State Bakersfield could be a guy serving us fries on our way to a skiin’ trip. Which puts us in the role of the ponytail douche instead of the Matt Damon role, which is the cooler role, but in real life of course the poor smart guy doesn’t actually get the hot rich girl with a limey accent and does end up serving fries to fuckheads on a skiin’ trip. So even though we got her numbah, we’re still standing outside in the cold with our face pressed up against the glass. This is a Big East analogy. *sad face*

Also, unless you like skiin’ in Visalia or Fresno, the analogy fails again because you wouldn’t go over the Grapevine. You want to take the 15 to the 215, then to 395 and head up to Mammoth or Lake Tahoe, and be sure to bring chains because CHP will totally turn you around in Bishop unless you have all-terrains and 4WD.

Nothing much happened that you need to be aware of in the actual basketball game. Franklin had another double-double, obviously. X Thames left the game with a hamstring that he appeared to tweak by simply running off the ball on offense. Winston Shepard looked better. James Johnson looked big and white. A meta-summary was provided by the U-T’s Mark “Don’t Call Me Toby” Zeigler:

Same old, same old for Aztecs vs. Cal State Bakersfield. They take a big lead, lose focus/interest and win only 72-57. utsd.us/S68p4j

— Mark Zeigler (@sdutzeigler) January 3, 2013

Zeigler has adopted the tone of the jaded beat writer annoyed with his underachieving subject. How dare these student-athletes not destroy these other student-athletes by a wider margin of victory! the tone seems to imply. Could you take a big lead against the Bakersfield Roadrunnners and not lose focus, then win “only” 72-57? Have you ever so much as held a regulation basketball? That’s what I thought.

The interesting thing that happened on the periphery of this game was Tyler Lamb watching from the stands on a semi-official transfer-recruit visit. This apparently is a big deal because holy crap he used to start for UCLA and is formerly out of Mater Dei. Lamb announced his visit via twitter, as kids these days are wont to do, so The Show was ready.

Fan from SDSU made this sign at the game for me lol instagr.am/p/UApHiUSuwa/

— Tyler Lamb (@LamboMars) January 3, 2013

Which was mildly clever. Lamb would have to pay his own way while injury-eligibility-redshirting this Spring, but could follow the pattern of transfers from big programs blossoming under the caring tutelage of Coach Fisher, so yeah, bring your bad self man.

Next up is Fresno State in Fresno next Wednesday as hot Mountain West action finally gets underway. They probably fly up for that because who wants to ride a bus through fucking Bakersfield. Funny story: guess who won’t be joining the old bus league next season? Us and Boise! lol